Australian Primary Principals Association (APPA) President Angela Falkenberg reflects on the deep well of expertise, creativity, and emotional intelligence teachers bring to their work.
At the farewell gathering for South Australia’s Children’s Commissioner, a simple yet profound insight emerged, not from research papers or expert panels, but directly from the voices of thousands of children. When asked what they most want from the adults in their lives, two consistent hopes were shared:
- To be recognised for what they are good at.
- To be equipped with the skills to manage conflict and challenging relationships.
Beneath these hopes lies a clear roadmap for supporting every child to thrive. These are not optional extras or aspirational ideals. Belonging, strengths, and emotional capability form the foundation for learning, wellbeing, and lifelong success.
Belonging: the bedrock of resilience
Until a child feels they belong, they cannot fully engage or thrive.
Belonging is not about assimilation or seeking approval. It is about being seen, known, and valued for who one already is. As Dr Brené Brown so aptly states, “True belonging doesn’t require you to change who you are; it requires you to be who you are.”
Imagine the transformative power of every student feeling confident to bring their authentic self into the classroom.
Psychologist Dr Andrew Fuller affirms that belonging is not a ‘soft’ concept, it is the cornerstone of resilience. And schools are uniquely positioned to foster it.
Yet the most recent PISA 2022 results indicate that many Australian students, particularly girls, regional students, and First Nations students, report a diminished sense of belonging at school. This has significant implications. Research consistently shows that when students feel connected, they attend more regularly, behave more positively, achieve more highly, and demonstrate stronger emotional wellbeing.
Belonging is not peripheral. It is cultivated not only through policies, but through daily practices: meaningful conversations, moments of recognition, and sustained human connection. In a time of rising loneliness, schools can offer connection every single day.
Anchored in strengths
In a society preoccupied with ranking and comparison, children yearn for something far more human: to be recognised for the unique strengths they bring.
This recognition goes beyond academic scores or athletic ability, it includes kindness, creativity, persistence, humour, and the diverse ways young people perceive and shape the world.
As Fiorenza Rossini of The Belonging Project explains, “We are anchored by knowing ourselves, our uniqueness and strengths, and showing up in a way that honours that.”
In challenging moments, conflict, exclusion, or self-doubt, knowing one’s strengths can serve as an anchor. In times of exclusion or conflict, when self-doubt begins to take hold, a clear understanding of one’s capabilities and identity provides stability and sustains hope – hope that circumstances can improve, that resilience is possible, and that one’s presence has value.
This invites a crucial reflection for every educator:
- Do we know the strengths of the children in our care?
- Do we reflect them back so clearly that the students can see them, too?
Strength-based environments cultivate agency, motivation, and pride. They communicate clearly: you are not a problem to be solved, you are a person becoming.
Navigating conflict: teaching the skills that matter
No child wants to be excluded or to cause harm, yet misunderstandings, mistakes, and conflict are a natural part of life. The difference lies in whether children have the tools to respond constructively. Many children overestimate the potential fallout of conflict and underestimate their capacity to manage it. They need tools, not just rules.
Helping children navigate difficulty is not a ‘nice-to-have’ addition to the curriculum, it is at the heart of education. It requires teaching and modelling skills such as:
- Regulating emotions
- Calming oneself
- Communicating assertively and respectfully
- Taking perspective
- Knowing when and how to seek help
Professor Martin Seligman reminds us: “We don’t teach this stuff; we model it.” Every time educators manage pressure calmly, guide a restorative conversation, or support a student to find their voice, we are actively teaching.
Conflict is inevitable. Teaching students to face it with dignity, compassion, and resilience is one of the most powerful and enduring lessons we can offer. It also requires clear, consistent classroom protocols for raising concerns, responding to harm, and building safety, reinforced until they are embedded in students’ memory.
Because confidence doesn’t just stem from knowing what’s right, it comes from trusting that you can cope when things go wrong.
Creating cultures of belonging
Cultivating a sense of belonging for every student requires both intention and daily commitment. It means creating school environments that are:
- Predictable: clear routines and expectations
- Safe: physically, emotionally, and culturally
- Relational: built on thousands of micro-moments
- Clear: transparent support structures and behavioural norms
- Inclusive: celebrating diversity and ensuring every student is valued
Importantly, it also requires attentiveness. Students with developing social-emotional skills may experience unintentional exclusion, not through malice, but through missed opportunities for connection. Educators play a critical role in recognising when this occurs and responding with compassion, teaching, and genuine invitation.
Belonging is not passive, it is cultivated through purposeful, ongoing action. And it is not the responsibility of teachers alone. Every adult in the school community contributes, whether in the classroom, the front office, the playground, or leadership spaces. Every interaction can either reinforce inclusion or undermine it.
In a world that feels increasingly divided, schools remain some of the last truly communal spaces. Educators hold the line for inclusion and respect, not because it’s easy, but because it is necessary. It is the antidote to disconnection, the foundation for learning, and the pathway to a more just, compassionate society.
Hands unfolded
Father and son Albert and Aidan Sykes once shared a story that continues to resonate with me:
Aidan asked his father, “What are your dreams for me?”
Albert responded, “My dream is for you to live out your dreams. When children are born, they come with their hands closed, holding all their gifts. As they grow, they learn to unfold their hands and release those gifts to the world. My dream is to see you live with your hands unfolded.”
Isn’t that the purpose of education?
To create environments where every child belongs.
To help them anchor in their strengths.
To equip them with the skills for human connection.
To support them in living – with hands, hearts, and hopes – fully unfolded.
And in doing so, to remember this: educators and school leaders deserve the same.
Amid ongoing national conversations about what is broken or under-resourced in education, let us also recognise and uplift what is strong; the deep well of expertise, creativity, emotional intelligence, and care that teachers and leaders bring to their work every single day.
This, too, is a national asset, one worthy of investment, respect, and celebration.
About the author
Australian Primary Principals Association (APPA) President Angela Falkenberg has held senior school leadership positions across both primary and secondary schools and has extensive experience in the education of First Nations children. APPA provides a voice to more than 7,600 public, Catholic and independent primary school principals across the country.
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